Blue Fug

squelch's transmissions

(chronicles of written expostulation to our frequency.)
To join our transmission, please email us and we will send you crap.

available transmissions (not comprehensive)

July 14, 2001
July 4, 2001
April 6, 2001
February 24, 2001
February 15, 2001
January 26, 2001
December 1, 2000
June 24, 2000
May 17, 2000
March 30, 2000
January 22, 2000
January 13, 2000
December 11, 1999
November 22, 1999
October 23, 1999
September 16, 1999

July 14, 2001
"Squelch's PHASE II Launch: Liquid Lounge, Sat. July 14th: NO COVER"

PRESS RELEASE: For Publik Konsumption
----------------------------------------------------------------
Squelch's (from Dallas) to Launch Phase II, Saturday, July 14th at Liquid Lounge
Marking a return to sound fiscal and social Kapitalatist policy
----------------------------------------------------------------

(DALLAS, TX:) After pledging to never return to Dallas, the Blue Fug musical brand Squelch's (from Dallas) is actually returning to the Liquid Lounge this Saturday at 11pm to launch the next phase of their existence.

The brand's musikal extravangza will be punctuated by a brief business presentation, a revival, telethon and enrollment drive. Squelch's (from Dallas) and you will also be presenting "The Fruits of our Labor," a ballsy new twist on the old stage pit you knew and avoided.

There is NO CHARGE for this event! Come to the door of the Liquid Lounge and say you want some Squelch's. (but sorry, for buyers under 21, a $3 fee applies.) The agenda calls for excellent electronically challenged blues-hop band "Fruitcake-Superbeing" to go on beforehand, so come out early.

Phase II for Squelch's involves changing their name to "Squelch's (from Dallas)" as well as entering an incubation period where they will become a kinder, gentler brand. Having completed the Phase I US$25K seed money project and business upgrade, Squelch's (from Dallas) is ready to unleash their new identity with improved buyer awareness, new musical compositions, and enhanced spending responsibility. They will also be spending toward new markets in other locales, hence the (from Dallas). They will attempt to prove that roaming bands (from Dallas) can be philanthropists.

Executives from Blue Fug Enterprises, Squelch's's parent company, will be on hand to talk about corporate reunification and the brand's competitve strategy in response to a softening media market.

The business presentation will also outline the 10 Tents of the brand's "Kapitalatist" society, a utopia of Buyers and Spenders, where money is the root of all time, and you support the society you want by what you pay for.

Squelch's (from Dallas): fighting bigotry with balls.
Buyer, be there!

-------------------------------------
FOR MISINFORMATION:

Hear/see Squelch's at:
http://www.bluefug.com
http://squelchs.iuma.com
http://www.mp3.com/squelchs

And, check out our stagemates, Fruitcake-Superbeing, at http://www.fruitcake-superbeing.com

We think, but we're not.

July 4, 2001
"Squelch's (from Dallas) - July 4th Holiday - Club Dada - 7pm BBQ, 8pm Show"

Isn't it about time you rediscovered Squelch's for the first time again, now that they're (from Dallas)?

I know it may seem like we have been absent and we have. Sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused. It doesn't mean we don't care about you. We've merely been busy buying and sorting playpen balls with our lack of free time.

But next Wednesday, that's the 4th, is your chance to take advantage of one of the world's best values in live music. In an upcoming performance, Squelch's (from Dallas) is playing their musical repertoire for you, the listening product. Hear all your old and new Squelch's favorites, and understand that Kapitalatism means you have the right to spend money to make a point about who you are.

See the flier here: http://www.bluefug.com/july4.html

The show is [[[Wednesday, JULY 4th, 8-10pm at Club Dada!!]]] This should be a special event as we celebrate the Amerikan Kapitalatist Liberation Day. The granular-phaze-mood-rock of Seymore will happen after. Hey, it will beat looking at the same fireworks again.

*** AND, we are doing a little BBQ beforehand at 7pm in the Club Dada courtyard. Yep, we'll have a couple grills going on the back patio, and there will be some bratwurst and dogs going, and there will be condiments and buns. You are welcome to partake (if quantities allow) and bring your own grillable meat if you want something special.*** Of course, beer will be available from the bar.

Other good news in Squelch's...
-- Our anthem "Lifeguard" will be on a compilation CD based out of Atlanta's Shut Eye Records called "A Low Watt Document." Believe it or not, Lemmy of Motorhead fame will also appear on the same disc! Stay tuned for some radioplay and an extended tour of towns in the Southeast. Or take a listen at this diverse label that thinks outside of its local clique at http://www.shuteyerecords.com .

-- Also go to http://www.riograndemud.com and ask for Squelch's. Cool site of Texas music only. They just got our CD and it's running there every so often.

That's all happening even as you read this right now. See you soon!

April 6, 2001
"Squelch's Final Dallas Show: April 6th, 2001: 6pm at 2819 Main Street (Singer/Songwriter Stage)"

BLUE FUG ENTERPRISES -- PRESS RELEASE: APRIL 6TH, 2001

SQUELCH'S ANNOUNCES SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF PHASE ONE SEED PROJECT and NAME CHANGE
-- Free Deep Ellum Arts Festival concert Friday, April 6th to mark celebration of $25,000 giveaway campaign --

DALLAS, TX (BF) -- A free, family-style outdoor Dallas concert from Squelch's Friday afternoon will mark the successful completion of Phase One (1) of their business plan, which involved the free disbursement of more than $25,000 in cash and merchandise to Dallas music audiences.

"The seed has been planted," said Blue Fug CBO Jason English about the label's premier music brand. "Every dollar we made playing for the last two years has been Squelch's labeled and redistributed through the hands of our fans. Hopefully this de facto currency has bought a few drinks and paid a few $8 parking charges."

In addition to the cash thrown at shows, 2,000 copies of their full-length high-fidelity CD, "Love Is The Problem" have been distributed free to people with CD players, some of these being resold by recipients into unsuspecting used CD stores.

"Once a guy came up to me and said he listened to the CD," said Blue Fug CDO and Squelch's drummer Chris Smith. "If he did, maybe some other people have listened to it too."

The musical brand Squelch's will mark the completion of Phase One with a renaming, intended to provide a sense of "newness" to the band. After tomorrow "Squelch's" will be known only as "Squelch's (from Dallas)." This is in keeping with their focus on playing outside of Dallas, where they are mentioned as being from Dallas anyway.

"Other bands from Dallas change their name too for news, but when you go see them, it's just the same guys up there, playing the same stuff," Blue Fug CGO Brian Miller said. "We want to capitalize on this as well by calling ourselves Squelch's (from Dallas)."

--------------------- Details of the event: ---------------------------
The Deep Ellum Arts Festival is 2 1/2 days of art, music, street food and buyable stuff.
We are playing Friday, April 6 from 6:15 to 7:15 pm at the Singer/Songwriter Stage
The stage is located near 2819 Main Street. (in the outdoor area called the Asylum)
Admission is free. Read more about the weekend-long festival at http://www.meifestivals.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is next for Squelch's? Phase Two will be a time of incubation. "I'm bored," said CVO Greg Shows.

February 24, 2001
"Squelch's: Galaxy Club: Sat. Feb. 24, 9:30pm - 10pm"

SQUELCH'S TO PLAY SPEEDY COTTON-THEMED SHOW AT GALAXY CLUB
DALLAS, TX (BLUE FUG) -- Squelch's, the premier musical brand of Blue Fug Media, has agreed to enter a marketing co-sponsorship with Cotton, "the fabric of our lies." The roll out of this new sponsorship will occur tomorrow, that's Saturday, at:

The Galaxy Club, 2820 Main, Deep Ellum, Dallas.
Saturday, February 24, 9:30pm-10:00pm (yes, that fast!!!)
w. Fozzie, Goalie, and two other bands.
The brief but action-packed presentation will highlight Squelch's musical compositions, while demonstrating new, innovative cotton strategies for defensive bear market business survival. Attendees will be able to garner a copy of Squelch's CD, "Love is the Problem" and cotton samples free at the show.

Blue Fug CBO Jason English waxed optimistic about the partnership. "We've been reading analyst reports about innovative ways to incorporate 'soft wares' to diversify our product offering and provide visibility into the machinations of Blue Fug's production. With the addition of Cotton, we've added the softest ware we can think of."

CVO Greg Shows touted the strength and breathability of Squelch's new sponsor. "There was a time when cotton represented an economic advantage for the agrarian South, but this failed to take into account the unfair practices employed in harvesting it. Now that cotton is simply a commodity with little market volatility, the time is right to invest in it."

Brian Miller, CGO, hailed the announcement as a return to the fiscally responsible days of Blue Fug. "We should see continued growth of Absolute Zero over the next 3 quarters thanks to the addition of zero new music fans through the sponsorship. As for me, I'll be wearing polyester as usual."

CDO Chris Smith had cotton balls in his ears and could not hear the question.

Shares of Blue Fug Enterprises stock remained steady today at absolute 0, quietly gathering dust in the closet.

February 15th, 2001
"Squelch's headlines the Liquid Lounge, Thursday 02/15/01 11:59pm"

January 26, 2001
"Thus spake Squelch's: First 2001 show: Clearview, FRIDAY Jan 26th, 9:30pm"

From the primordial ooze rose life. Gradually, through a series of genetic mutations, the amoeba learned to swim and engulf other lifeforms around it, eventually sprouting lung-gills, and fins, and little feet it uses to kick the land to overcome gravity, or "walk." This period is known as the pre-Squelch's era.

Many eons later, early humans, or "Chromatic Man," learned to fashion his own instruments from the land, and play them with groovy, fingerlike appendages. But pride and advanced chemistry abilities gradually caused this offshoot race to die alone in the gutter and go the way of the Mastodon.

Congratulations, all of you, on making it to the next species of humanity. More frail and fallible than it's predecessors, but much wiser for the experience. You know, homo sapiens have been around for a long time, but we need to draw the line somewhere. And we might as well evolve tomorrow night at Club Clearview. You may even see an obelisk if you're lucky.

SQUELCH'S plays FIRST at 9:30pm
Club Clearview, 2806 Elm Street, Dallas, TX
playing with "Uncle Silas" and "Jibe"

See you there!
We also have uncovered a trove of artifacts from 2000, the Squelch's CD "Love is the Problem." Come get one.

Here's a review of us someone actually wrote!

December 1, 2000
"Squelch's Vehementos Show: Liquid Lounge: Fri. 12/01 10:10 pm"

From the makers of the world's most noxious perfumes, such as "Flaccitude" and "Animosity," Blue Fug Enterprises is proud to premier its first breath mint for the Squelch's lifestyle:

VEHEMENTOS.

Nothing accompanies your daily spew of hot air and rhetoric like the seething scent of Vehementos. It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better with trite. Vehementos, fresh and full of trite.

You are invited to come smell and hear the band that is on the tip of everyone's tongue play the music that spawned the idea that set the standard that broke the rules that embodied the ideals that created the vision that empowered a generation of self-centered milquetoasts that revel in the oppression and forgot how they foisted it upon themselves.

------------------------
squelch's Squelch's SQUELCH'S
friday Friday FRIDAY Dec. 1st (tomorrow)
The Liquid Lounge, 2800 Main St., Deep Ellum
10:10 pm sharp, or soon thereafter.
-------------------------

The songs will be played through instruments and microphones so you can hear them.
You can also get a free reflective disc that contains the sound recordings at the show.
Playing next that night will be the bass god Clay with ambient acid jazz-hop worth seeing.

March 30, 2000
"Sleeping Giant Stirs: Squelch's at Trees Thurs 3/30, 10:15pm"

Hi team:

I thought I'd make you all aware that this Thursday, that's TOMORROW the 30th at 10:15pm, Squelch's will hold an "ALBUM Preview Day" for the industry analyst community at Trees, 2806 Elm in Dallas, TX.

Details are sketchy, but I've been able to glean the following:

Don't underestimate Squelch's- - though they've been quiet about it lately, they are making progress with their album.

It's at least looking much better. It's obviously hard for an analyst to compare real functionality based on guided demos and screen-cams, but the appearance (not surprisingly very theatrical) is improving. Melody to rhythm integration even appears to be getting better, although no women's underwear has been thrown on the stage in a while.

The current version is 2.0 - - and there are no live performances of the 2.0 album yet - - so the product that Squelch's will demo Thursday has not been implemented anywhere yet.

Squelch's has apparently played live at 18 sites now. The analysts are aware that these implementations involve only very basic functionality - - almost none of the customers have got to the level of complete insanity yet we feel these people are capable of.

How can you help me help you?

Many industry analysts are on our side, and want to help us by giving their clients the ability to separate the wheat from the chaff. To do this, they need some help from you. If you choose Squelch's, we urge you to attend tomorrow at Trees and show your support. These customer site visits, and your testimonial, will help future Squelch's listeners uncover for themselves the greater value that we provide.

Thanks, and I hope this information has been helpful.

Regards,
Greg Shows
Singer Analyst Relations Mgr
Blue Fug Records

September 16, 1999
"SQUELCH'S: Thursday 9/16, 10pm, TREES"

Dear potential Squelch's listener,

Are you better off than you were last Thursday? Even in today's booming economy, times are tough for the tasteful music listener. The radio plays the same 15 pablum tunes all day. Ricky Martin and Britney Spears fly off the record store shelves until the next semester's big hit. Believe it or not, we can understand how current conditions would cause hapless music fans to brave Deep Ellum, in search of that elusive parking spot. But once the band kicks in, do you feel like you're hearing a watered-down imitation?

True, there are several talented musical acts to see in Dallas, but attending a local show can still be a crap shoot. That is why we would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to the new flavors and unparalleled value of Blue Fug Records' premier band, Squelch's.

Only Squelch's is concentrated, meaning we don't play all the time. It's not every week you get the chance to experience so much puckering value in one sitting. That's why throw everything we have into each performance, encouraging our audience to run and jump to help dilute the absurdity, and mix things up. I know, all of this may seem hard to believe, but it's no joke. Come see for yourself!
------------------ Squelch's plays at Trees, 2709 Elm, Dallas THURSDAY, Sept. 16th at 10pm ------------------

And when you leave the club on your long walk to Elite Towing because you got hoodwinked by a fake parking attendant, you'll still say "I had a great time down here!"

Sincerely, Jason English, Pit Boss and Sommelier Blue Fug Brewery and Recording Co.

October 23, 1999
"SQUELCH'S -- NTNM Festival - Sat. 10/23"

MEET Squelchs! inter-dimensional rock-n-roll. Squelch's is the world's first uneasy listening band offering value-added music that spans multiple digital and analog genres. Their value-added songs are tailored for buyers, sellers, designers and service providers. Squelch's uniquely leverages advanced optimization and execution capabilities to project rock and roll across a wide variety of influences. Squelch's enables audiences to both indirectly and directly procure music. Squelch's exploits the Internet to reduce procurement transaction costs through their site at http://www.mp3.com/squelchs . You can also benefit from the ability to "try before you buy" by listening to them here. Of course, Squelch's offers the ultimate one-to-one, end-to-end customer management solutions during their live performances, one of which is coming up this Saturday during a one-of-a-kind festival. Attendance at this event includes unlimited access to fermented beverages, as well as a complementary screening of emotional excerpts from the life and times of the band members: Brian, Chris, Greg and Jason. SQUELCH'S is the FIRST band on Saturday night's festival bill. Come and see them at: ---------------------- The Galaxy Club, 2820 Main Dallas, TX (in Deep Ellum) Saturday, October 23 9 PM (really!) ----------------------- The North Texas Music Festival will be a hub of local and regional music, allowing listeners to choose from more than 99 acts at various design phases, including concept development, design, resourcing, prototype and product launch. Squelch's currently has a prototype of 7 songs, "Collect All 4+3" available at the show if you require a portable version of the music. So if you're in the area and want to see the only band that conducts planning, sourcing, buying, selling, entertaining, delivering and exception-based monitoring with closed loop feedback and reporting, come check out Squelch's. Your attendance will help us play more weekend shows, facilitating optimal hangover recovery without work requirements. Thanks from Squelch's and we'll see you there!

November 22, 1999
"Squelch's: Clearview: Sat. 11/6 9:30pm"

this story brought to you by Squelch's, Dallas' favorite uneasy listening band. ------------------------------------------- come see Squelch's Saturday, Nov. 6 9:30 pm Club Clearview, 2806 Elm Deep Ellum, Dallas ------------------------------------------- It was a dark and rainy night. I woke up from a puddle of drool the size of Lake Superior on my desk. My head felt like one of those animals kids hit with sticks to get the bit-o-honeys out on their birthday. What were those called? They must have been waiting for me. My tounge felt like it had been subtly seasoned with cajun spices then chicken-fried at Long John Silvers. I looked in my desk drawer. All they left were the past due bills on this flea-bag dive and IOUs from some lucky stiffs I would rather forget about. I carefully rebuilt the last crooked cigarette and lit it. This city smells like a Ralston-Purina factory. And then she walked in. She was all ruby lips and suicide hips, the kind of dame you need a manual for to avoid electrocuting yourself. I took a swig of breakfast and drank her into the foyer of my mind. "Have a seat anywhere." "I never stay for long," she smiled. "This was for you." She splashed the package on my desk. The parcel was greasy and tattered like Smelly Joe, the gutter bum I'll be after a few more years of this job. The only part I could make out was a sticker that said, Your Presence Requested by Nov. 11. That was Saturday. Must explain why I'm in this jam right now. I unwrapped the package and pulled out a book, along with the shipping invoice for the late package. Damn E-commerce companies never had any back-end fulfillment optimization. The book was called "Chicken Soup for the Squelch's soul" and had 11 key points that would have made my life a lot easier. Everyone is boring. You are the most interesting person you will ever meet. Life is meaningless. Money is your god. You are already half dead. The healthier you are, the less you appreciate life. Ideals are a privilege of the rich. People are something to cry about. It's not your fault, but you should be ashamed anyway. Nothing has been done. ME. Sounded like the lyrics to some song I forgot. What did it mean? I barely heard the click-clack of her heels walking out of my life. Guess I should have went to that show.

December 11, 1999
"Squelch's, Sat. Dec 11th, Club Clearview, 9:30pm"

Jones Bucks Off, Belches Squelch's
Squelch's To Attempt A Crack Addict in First Slot Saturday at Clearview
by Brian Miller, staff writer and Squelch's guitarist

DALLAS -- In an unexpected move not indicative of the local music scene by any means, popular Dallas poprock band Buck Jones has decided to call it quits. Citing familiar maladies and contemporary fallacies, the band blamed reaching a creative collective plateau and fear of Y2K compliance with regards to the band's equipment as major factors in their decision. The band's label, Steve Records, issued a statement regarding the band's choice to dismember themselves.

"We here at Steve Records regret the decision made by Buck Jones, and wish him all the luck in his future endeavors," said A&R chief and telecommunications industry magnate David Dennard. "We understand he was a very fine singer and an asset to our label." The band will play one of their last shows this Saturday, Dec. 11th, at Club Clearview. Squelch's and Fixture will be the openers. When asked about the turn of events and how it will affect the show, Squelch's frontman Greg Shows waxed happy about the news and also the fact that he never has to change his name for stage purposes. "That means more people for us at the gig to throw money to," replied Greg, "as well as that much more minute of a chance of us getting into SXSW." (Ed. note: Squelch's really does throw federal reserve notes into the crowd at their shows, thus I would suggest attending and standing close to the stage during their performance.)

When asked if this is the break they've been waiting for, Squelch's drummer Chris Smith murmured "Patience is a virgin."

Bass demigod Jason English was mourning a broken G-string and could not be reached for comment. And since I, Brian am the writer "it would be vain to quote myself."

Well, go ahead and move on Buck Jones, because Squelch's is one damn fine rock band and has drawn comparisons to such notable 80's bands as The Police, Fugazi and XTC, while still maintaining 90's connections to such indie greats as Built To Spill, Jawbox and Pavement. Their live shows are a sight to behold and they have no plans of ever reaching a plateau -- they'll switch instruments and start sucking all over again if that happens. See them perform in all their glory at Club Clearview, Dec. 11th at 9:30pm. Fixture takes the stage next and then Buck Jones will be breaking up after that.

January 13, 2000
"Final Boarding Call: SQUELCH'S: Trees: Jan 13: 10:15pm"

FLIGHT CONFIRMATION: Squelch's: Thur. Jan 13th: Trees: 10:15pm

Squelch's, your friendly over the air music carrier, will be landing at Trees in Deep Ellum, 2806 Elm, with a scheduled arrival date of Thur., Jan. 13th at 10:15pm. Currently listed as Flight #2, but passengers, be aware that gates and times may vary. Our airtime will be approximately 45 minutes, and is a nonstop flight. If this is your first flight with Squelch's, we'd like to point out a few of our safety instructions:

1. Please remain calm.
2. Do not disrupt the crew at any time during the flight, although you may visit the cockpit after landing to ask questions, sign up for future flights, and to purchase a copy of the flight plan.
3. Your stewardesses are here to make sure you have a comfortable flight, but they are primarily here for your safety. Each has been cosmetically augmented and can act as a flotation device in case of a water landing.
4. This is a non-smoking flight. Should the flight begin to smoke, remain calm, someone has probably tampered with the lavatory smoke detectors.
5. If you are situated near an exit row, please be aware that you may be trampled in the event of a Squelch's crash.
6. If you encounter musical turbulence, please fasten your seat belt and locate the resealable leftover bag in the seat pocket in front of you.
7. You cannot initiate sexual advances with the stranger next to you while your seat belt is fastened. Feel free to move about the cabin.
8. For those of you on the right side of the plane, you can see we're flying somewhere in between the states of Panic and Euphoria.
9. Squelch's is not responsible for bodily harm resulting from participation in our in-flight frequent flier program, in which you can accumulate dollars to be used towards future purchases.

This concludes the safety portion of this transmission. We know that you have a choice when it comes to over-the-air music travel, and we thank you for choosing Squelch's. For more information and please visit our parent company, Blue Fug Air, at http://www.bluefug.com or hear the audio transmissions at http://www.mp3.com/squelchs
Thank you very much and enjoy the eggs, Squelch's

LA CONFIRMACION DEL VUELO: Silenciador: J. El enero 13th: Arboles: 10:15pm El Silenciador De La Musica Rock (Squelch's), su amistoso sobre el portador a�reo de la m�sica, estar� aterrizando en la Club Trees en Ellum Profundo, 2806 Elm, con una fecha planificada de la llegada de J., enero. 13th en 10:15pm. List� actualmente como Vuelo #2, pero los pasajeros, est�n enterado que portones y tiempo pueden variar. Nuestro airtime ser� aproximadamente 45 minutos, y es un vuelo de nonstop. Si esto es su primer vuelo con Silenciador, nosotros apreciar�amos a indica unos pocas de nuestras instrucciones de la seguridad: 1. Permanezca por favor calmo. 2. No interrumpa la tripulaci�n en ninguna vez durante el vuelo, aunque usted pueda visitar la cabina del piloto despu�s que aterrizar a hace preguntas, se inscriben para vuelos futuros, y a la compra una copia del plan del vuelo. 3. Su stewardesses aqu� lo deber�n cerciorarse tiene un vuelo c�modo, pero ellos son principalmente aqu� para su seguridad. Cada ha sido aumentado cosm�ticamente y puede actuar como un artefacto de flotation en caso de un agua que aterriza. 4. Esto es un vuelo no humeante. Deba el vuelo comienza al humo, permanece calmo, alguien tiene probablemente tampered con los detectores del humo de retrete. 5. Si usted es situado cerca de una fila de la salida, est� por favor enterado que usted puede ser trampled en caso de un choque de Silenciador. 6. Si usted encuentra turbulence musical, abrocha por favor su cintur�n del asiento y localiza la bolsa de sobras de resealable en el bolsillo del asiento enfrente de usted. 7. Ladrones de amor, usted no puede iniciar los avances sexuales con el extranjero luego a usted mientras su cintur�n del asiento se abrocha. Si�ntase liberte a mueve acerca de la caba�a. 8. Para �sos de usted en el lado derecho del avi�n, usted puede ver que volamos en alg�n lugar en medio los estados del P�nico y la Euforia. 9. El silenciador no es responsable de resultar de da�os corporales de la participaci�n en nuestro en el vuelo frecuenta el programa de flier, en que usted puede acumular d�lares a sea usado hacia compras futuras. Esto concluye la porci�n de la seguridad de esta transmisi�n. Sabemos que usted tiene una elecci�n cuando viene a sobre el viaje a�reo de la m�sica, y nosotros gracias para escoger Silenciador. Para m�s informaci�n y visita por favor nuestra compa��a de padre, Aire Azul de Fug (El Grand Sabor de Blue Fug), en http://www.bluefug.com u oye las transmisiones de la audiofrecuencia en http://www.mp3.com/squelchs Muchas Gracias y chupa huevos, El Silenciador De La Musica Rock (Squelch's)

January 22, 2000
"Thank you for your order"

-------------------------- ORDER CONFIRMATION --------------------------
Thank you for shopping with BlueFug.com! Your music-and-more order has been received through a scary Cold Fusion interface via TCP/IP over the Information Highway of the World Wide Web and we are processing it right now. Please take a moment to review the following invoice for any inaccuracies:

Item: Qty: Price:
------ ------ -------
Thigh Bone, prehistoric (1) $14,880.00
Walther PPK Interactive Art Kit (1) $3250.99
Valium Effort Sleeping Pills (5) $82.65
Bananas, loose (2) $.26
Lasik Eye Surgery Appointment (1) $4200
Patent Leather Bag of Tricks (1) bonus item
Ladyfingers, Snappy Zingers, box (1) $1.29
Kidney, healthy (1) $6500
Velvet Calf in Calf Suit (1) $375.00

Total for 9 items: $29,417.90
-------------------
As requested in your fulfillment configuration, your order will be merged in transit and shipped via a catholic school girl on a mule within 4-6 weeks. If you feel you have been charged in error, DO NOT respond to this email. Instead, please visit the next Squelch's (El Silenciador De La Musica Rock) show on: [[[SATURDAY, Jan. 22nd, 9:30pm at Club Clearview, 2806 Elm, Dallas.]]] and stand toward the front of the stage where we will gladly refund your money. Please keep track of this order number for future reference: CLEARVIEW01-22-00 9:30PM

May 17, 2000
"Squelch's Loves You"

FATAL ALERT WARNING THING:
Come see it for yourself!

Squelch�s spreads its message through email. It arrives as an attachment to good music from someone whose address book contains your email address. The subject line is "Squelch�s LOVES YOU", and the message is "kindly check the attached LOVELETTER coming from Squelch�s." The attachment is titled "Squelch_LOVEISTHEPROBLEM.TXT" When you open (click on) the attachment, it automatically makes you a fan of this aggressively melodic band.

New strains of the "Squelch�s" worm have also appeared, including dollar bills bearing the Squelch�s label, quickly becoming the de facto currency of Deep Ellum. More money can be expected to circulate in the coming days and weeks as it is distributed to those in the know. What does Squelch�s do? When executed, Squelch�s installs itself in your system. This can degrade your system, causing it to become lazy, nihilistic and cynical after a brief period of euphoria. A scan of the code will reveal that Squelch�s may be corrupting files and hard drives with radical Marxo-Capitalatist philosophy and too much cuddling and coddling.

How can I cure it?
There is only one way to overcome Squelch�s: face it head on where it lives and plays. Their next show will be TOMORROW, that�s Wednesday night, and it�s a key one. Squelch�s plays Wednesday, May 17th at The Curtain Club 2800 Main, Deep Ellum (across from The Art Bar) 10:30 pm our friends the Joyful Sinners (featuring i2�er Bruce Johnson!) will be opening. See you there!
Jason English, Viral Marketing Expert, Blue Fug Records

June 24, 2000
"Squelch's: Liquid Lounge"

Hi. How are you. We are fine. How's everyone? Good to hear, unless they are not good, then we're sorry to hear it and hope that (insert desired result here). We, being [[[Squelch's]]], a musical performance act, are playing this Saturday night at the Liquid Lounge. If you are not busy washing your hair or similar, please come see us. If you decide to wash your hair before or after the show, it would enable you to attend. Someone else will also likely be there. There is a 50% chance he or she will be from the opposite sex. If you bring your own member of the opposite sex, this would not matter to you, unless you are just friends or averse to heterogenous relations. The [[[Liquid Lounge]]] is in Deep Ellum, at [[[2800 Main]]] and Crowdus (just across from the Art Bar). The Liquid Lounge accommodates up to 125 people according to fire codes, and the air and beverages are optimally refrigerated, to enhance the, as you say, "atmosphere." [[[We go on at 10pm]]] I think. There is only one other band worth seeing in town, and they (Hi Fi Drowning) are playing right after us, so there's no need to leave the premises. I just called the individual who procures bands and he assured me we were playing at that time. Our plan is almost complete. So we invite you now to come see Squelch's Saturday. It will certainly be an occasion to remember. Sincerely yours, First Citizen Squelch's, a wholly owned subsidiary of Blue Fug Media